Love, A Simple Duty Chapter 7

Finally telling Finn of Kurt's preferences for men didn't go at all how Kurt imagined.

First, Finn seemed more or less shocked at the confession (though, to be fair, Kurt didn't waste time with a preamble before telling him). Then he looked thoughtful and said: "Do you mean like Rachel's family?"

That made Kurt stop short. He hadn't even thought that maybe Finn knew about Rachel's fathers. But then, when he thought about it, it did make perfect sense that Rachel told him. He was going to be marrying her one day.

"Yes," said Kurt after a long moment. "Like Rachel's family."

"Oh." Finn looked at Kurt for a long moment without blinking. "Well…alright then," he said with a nod. "If that is what you are, I suppose there is no changing it."

"Really?" asked Kurt, still shocked. "You don't care?"

"Rachel's family is just fine and her fathers are…like you," said Finn. "Does my mother and your father know?"

"For a while now," said Kurt. "I confess I was most nervous to tell you. I didn't want you telling everyone at our old school. Then it would be all over town within hours."

"I won't tell anyone," said Finn quickly. "You're my brother."

"Thank you," said Kurt in a small voice. Finn patted his back awkwardly.

-----

Hiram gave both Kurt and Blaine a copy of his favorite photo from their shoot. If they could, it would fit well in a medium sized picture frame. It was of them staring at each other with so much love it made their hearts beat faster, Kurt's arm wrapped in his and his hand resting on his chest.

"It's beautiful," said Kurt as he looked back at Hiram. Blaine agreed.

"I only wish I could make a larger copy for you, one that would be worthy to hang over a fireplace," said Hiram. "But of course…"

"It isn't possible," said Blaine with a soft smile. "We understand that. We will cherish these photos, in secret, forever. Thank you, sir."

His picture with Quinn, on the other hand, arrived in an ornate frame in his house within a few days. It was a photo of he and Quinn looking stiffly at the camera, Quinn sitting and Blaine standing straight up with his hand resting on the chair behind her. It was beautiful, but didn't hold any of the warmth in his and Kurt's photo.

Their families fawned over the photo, of course. They spoke of how this would go into his and Quinn's home when they were married. They had passed the moment of "if" and moved to "when" so quickly, Blaine didn't really know when it had started. Blaine feared he would be receiving a ring to give to Quinn any day.

Blaine balanced his time between school, spending time with Quinn and then with Kurt. The moments that he and Kurt spent together grew more and more heated as time moved forward. They knew that their time together was special, as Blaine told him of the developments with Quinn.

On more than one occasion, Blaine would ask his family to allow Kurt to accompany he and Quinn on outings. Of course, they knew this would look strange, so Kurt invited Mercedes Jones with them. His parents and Quinn's mother raised their noses to the idea that they would be in the company of an African American, and Blaine tried his best to ignore his mother's comments on the Hummels and their choice to associate themselves with such a lower breed, but they accepted this.

Those were especially fun days. Himself and Kurt, arm and arm with Quinn and Mercedes, respectfully, along with a chaperone. They went to plays at the community center, and despite the fact that they should be sitting in the back since they were with Mercedes, were able to buy themselves seats near the front.

Kurt and Blaine slipped into their usually friendly, but polite, banter, as they did when in front of others and Quinn and Mercedes were fast friends and seemed to get along quite well. The four teens together created an interesting dynamic.

"I'm still scared," said Kurt quietly one day as they lay in bed together. "I keep wondering when the other shoe will drop."

"I do as well, darling," sighed Blaine, pressing a kiss to Kurt's forehead. "We'll think of something. I know we will."

Even his words sounded false to his own ears.

------

When they couldn't see each other on a day to day basis, both young men would pull their photos from their hiding spots. Kurt's was in the top drawer of his desk, though he didn't have to hide it as carefully as Blaine. His family knew, of course. Blaine's was under his bed in a medium sized tin, along with some of his other treasures, including a few letters in Kurt's hand.

When Kurt couldn't fall asleep in Blaine's arms, he would bring his photo to bed with him and lay it out on the pillow next to him. He would watch it in the dim light of his room, staring at Blaine's relaxed features until he fell asleep.

Blaine would pull his box of treasures out and stare at them all. He would read the letters, in which Kurt told him of his love. These were usually found by Blaine when he arrive back home after a quick tryst at Kurt's house in his jacket pockets. Written by Kurt before Blaine awoke, because Blaine always slept more soundly than Kurt.

Some were no more than a sentence. A hastily scrawled "I love you," usually accompanied by a small drawing. Other times, it was pages and pages long. One of Blaine's favorites, as anyone could tell, as the paper had been folded closed and opened so many times, was this:

Blaine, you're so handsome when you sleep. You're handsome at all times, obviously, but when you sleep you look so utterly relaxed. There's nothing to worry you in your dreams. I especially love it when your mouth curves up slightly, into a smile, like it is now. I like to think that you're dreaming of me. Maybe even what he just finished doing. I know I often dream of that. I like to think that we love each other even in each others' dreams.

You move when I reach over to smooth back your hair, which has fallen from its usual order. Make a small sound and move closer to me. I love it so. I love the sounds you make, awake or asleep. I love the hairs on your head and every inch of skin on your body, of which I am sure, as I've been sure to see and touch every inch.

I can't wait for you to awake, so I can look into your clear hazel eyes. So I can see the love reflected back at me. Sometimes I feel as if I'm completely naked in front of you, you stare at me with such intensity. It scares me, but thrills me delightfully at the same time. I know in those moments that you love me with as much fervor as I love you.

I love you - Kurt

Blaine had read it so many times, he had mostly memorized it. Memorized the words and the way they imprinted on the paper. The way the ink in the pen leaked as Kurt wrote the word "skin" in the second paragraph.

After he had read the letters, he would stare at the photo of he and Kurt as long as he could. Then he would slip everything back in his hiding place and get into bed. It was much too risky to leave the things out as he slept. Anyone could come in unexpectantly and see them.

It was a constant comfort for both men.

------

"What are we doing, father?" asked Blaine as they sat on the back porch. His father had a lavishly decorated box in his lap and a serious expression on his features.

"Blaine, there is a time in every man's life when he looks into his son's eyes, just as they are about to become a man," begins his father, and Blaine knows this can't end well. "You, son, are to become a real man soon. I believe a man is a man when he becomes a supporting husband, and then a father. He is the protector of the family. I feel like you can take on this role."

Blaine tried to keep his face neutral, but inside his stomach and heart seemed to be in a race. His only thoughts were of Kurt. This couldn't happen. This just couldn't, though he knew it had been coming, just on the horizon.

His father opened the box on his lap and pulled out a ring. It was gold with a large diamond set in the center, with another smaller jewel on either side.

"This was your great grandmother's," said his father. "I'm sure she would be happy for it to rest on a girl as beautiful and poised as Quinn Fabray." His father held the ring out to him and after a long moment, Blaine reached and grabbed it, feeling as if he was going to be sick. Kurt's words echoed in his head.

Until after your father has put a ring in your hand and pushed you into Quinn's direction on one knee?

Oh God.

"I want you to propose to Quinn, son," said his father.

"Father," said Blaine. "There's school…I still have over three months left, then there is my college to think about."

"Of course I know the importance of school, Blaine," said his father, unphased. "You will finish high school as planned. You and Quinn will have a summer wedding and then you will go to school close by. If you are lucky, perhaps Quinn will be with child before you leave for school. You'll be able to start a family and a career at the same time, son. Your mother and I know this will be best."

"Best," repeated Blaine.

"Yes, son. I know this might seem frightening," said his father, sensing his fear for something else. "But it is in your best interests. It's a good pair, you and Quinn."

Blaine couldn't say anything. His mouth felt as dry as a summer's day.

"Quinn and her mother will be over for dinner in an hour. Afterwards, I would like you to take her to the sitting room, alone, and propose. I've already cleared things with her mother. Do you understand me?"

His father was staring at him with the face that told him there was no room to argue. "Do you understand me?" was the question that had haunted him for most of his life. Every decision his father had ever made for him was followed with that question. Blaine was always expected to confirm it.

"I understand," he replied in a voice that was not his own.

Blaine took the ring to his room, turning it over in his hands for an hour. It was so utterly feminine. Obviously, because it would be on the hand of a woman. A woman that would be his wife. Blaine always imagined slipping a golden band on Kurt's hand, simple in its construction and without jewels.

When Quinn and her mother arrived, he slipped the ring into his pocket and hurried downstairs. He didn't really know how it happened, but suddenly dinner had ended and he was being gently pushed into the sitting room with Quinn.

Blaine told Quinn to sit on the couch. His insides told him to stop, but he couldn't think of a way out. Was there even a way out?

"Quinn Fabray," he heard himself say. "We haven't known each other for a long time, but I feel as if we make a…good pair." Blaine tried out the words that his father had used earlier. "And that is why I would like to make you my wife."

Blaine had sunk to his knee in front of Quinn, holding out the ring. Quinn gasped, bringing her hands to her mouth. Her eyes teared up and Blaine wished, so much, that a man that truly loved her could make her as happy as she looked now.

"Yes," she said quietly. "Yes."

Their families appeared after Blaine had slipped the ring on Quinn's dainty hand. There was celebration, but Blaine felt like the world around him had stopped turning.

-----

Blaine went to Kurt's house the next day, full of fear. He was let into the house by Finn, just leaving for Rachel's house. He went up the stairs slowly then opened Kurt's door without knocking. Kurt jumped in surprised, but the smiled when he saw Blaine.

"Oh god, Blaine, I didn't know you were coming over today," he said, standing and crossing the room.

"You might not want to be happy to see me," said Blaine softly. "You might want nothing more to do with me."

"What?" asked Kurt, confused. He tried to smile. "What do you mean?"

"I'm engaged. To Quinn," was all Blaine got out before he quickly burst into tears. He felt Kurt's arms instantly wrap around him, bringing him to the bed. Blaine pressed his face into Kurt's chest. He cried. For how long, he wasn't sure, but it was a long time.

Finally, he pulled away and explained. "He just…he told me to do it. Just like you said he would. Pressed the ring in my hand and pushed me into Quinn's arms. And I did it. Why did I do it?"

"You didn't see another way," said Kurt hollowly.

"Why can't there be another way? Kurt, why can't there be another way?" asked Blaine, his voice breaking.

"I don't know," said Kurt, holding him against his body.

"What are we going to do now?" asked Blaine.

"I don't know," repeated Kurt. He clutched Blaine tighter.

------

Now, Blaine's house was full of wedding plans. What he should wear. Where it should be (the church the Andersons attended, or the ones the Fabrays did?). When, exactly? The guest list and a whole number of other things.

It drove him crazy. He didn't want any of this, at all. It wasn't like he could just back out of it, either.

Kurt's family had been informed of what happened. Burt asked both of them if there was anything that they could do, and the simple answer was no. There was nothing that they could do that Kurt and Blaine couldn't, simply because they didn't know what to do. At all.

They were sympathetic, which Blaine appreciated. It was always nice to have the support of a set of parents, though they weren't his.

Weeks passed. School continued in the usual manner, though all the people in Kurt and Blaine's year were getting notably excited for the end of their education and the chance to either get careers or move forward to high education.

Blaine didn't want school to end, because he would be married exactly a week after it did.

Blaine disappeared from his home more often now, without telling his family, so he could spend time with Kurt.

Sometimes they wouldn't say a word when they were together. They would meet with a fierce kiss, pulling at each other's clothes almost angrily. The only sounds that they exchanged low moans as they explored each other as if they would never see each other again; never feel the touch of each others' fingers on their skin.

Other times, they would take one look at each other before crying, crawling as close to each other as they could. They would lay there for hours, holding each other and crying. Other times they would talk quietly about things they wanted for each other. This always seemed to make Blaine more depressed, and he could tell it took a lot out of Kurt as well.

Most of the time, they would greet each other with a hug and long kiss. They would make the most of their time together, dragging out their kisses with long breaths, pulling the clothes off their bodies with a slow and practiced ease. They would pretend that they had all of time to make this moment last. They would breathe each others' love and devotion into their ears as they made love, then talk for hours as they lay tangled in each other afterwards.

His family asked him time and time again where he was, and Blaine always dodged them. His lies became practiced. Who knew how long Blaine would be able to sneak to Kurt? They might not even go to the same university any more.

Their days were numbered and Blaine hated it.

------

It had been almost a month since Blaine became engaged to Quinn. He had been at Kurt's for the last few hours, talking and kissing slowly before Kurt told him he should probably return home.

Blaine regretfully agreed.

He opened the front door, a sigh already on his lips. He called out that he was home as he took of his coat and hat, hanging them up. His father called from the sitting room, his voice oddly clipped.

Something told Blaine that this was wrong. That something was wrong.

He walked into the sitting room. His mother and father were there, sitting stiffly on the couch. His mother looked on the edge of tears and his father's face was pale. Blaine didn't know what could possibly cause this reaction.

Then he stopped walking. Stopped breathing.

Sitting on the table in front of his parents was his box of treasures. Every love note he'd ever received from Kurt.

And their engagement photo.

"Sit down," said his father in that tone again. He had noticed the look Blaine gave the box. The way his face immediately paled.

Blaine walked with unsteady legs to the couch across from his parents. He wanted to grab the box and run, hope to God that they hadn't opened it, but knew it was fruitless.

"We want to know what the meaning of this," said his father, pointing at the box.

"What…"

So quickly it made Blaine flinch, his dad grabbed their photo from the box, held it out to him, facing him. "This. What is this?" he asked viciously.

"A photo," answered Blaine in a small voice.

"Do not play smart with me, young man," snapped his father. "The maid found this box - your mother was in the room and looked through it. We have read every filthy word -"

"Those words aren't filthy," said Blaine automatically.

"You do not interrupt!" exploded his father. His mother jumped and fear shot through Blaine's limbs.

There was a tense silence in the room. The ticking of the grandfather clock in the other room ticked away at Blaine's nerves.

"I want you to explain to me right now what this photo and these letters mean. Now."

"Please, Blaine," said his mother in a soft tone after a moment.

Blaine's shoulders dropped and his resolve fizzled. He was so tired. He was tired of hiding.

"They are from Kurt, obviously," he said, in almost a bored tone. "I know you know that. The letters are signed and it is obviously Kurt in the photo. I love him. I love him like I could never love a woman. We've been together for almost two years. We love each other and -"

The slap came without warning. The sound echoed in the room and the pain exploded on Blaine's cheek. His father had stood and reached over for Blaine's face so quickly, Blaine couldn't even move.

"This can't be possible," whispered his mother as his father sat back down, as if the physical violence he had just used against Blaine hadn't happened. "You can't - you're marrying Quinn."

"I was pushed into the courting with Quinn because of you," said Blaine. "I never wanted it. I only seek the company of men. Woman have never met my fancy. I just…it's not who I am. Who I am with Kurt - that's who I am."

"I will not stand for this," said his father in a low, dangerous tone.

"It's how things are, father," said Blaine quickly. "You can't change who I am."

"This is not who you are!"

"It is! I'm Blaine Anderson and I love Kurt Hummel! That's who I am! There can't be me without him!"

"You are marrying Quinn Fabray!" shouted his father.

"No, I am not!"

This exclamation shocked both his parents and Blaine.

He had just said no to his father. Never, in the eighteen years that he had lived, had that ever happened. No one said no to his father. Not him, not his mother. You did as you were told, whether you liked it or not.

That was what Blaine had done until this moment.

No more.

"What?" his father asked in a dangerous tone.

"I will not marry Quinn. I don't love her and it's not fair to her," said Blaine. "I'm tired of having to lie."

"You will marry her," said his father.

"No." Blaine reached forward, for the photo and the letters, but his father was faster. He took the photo and the letters inside the box and walked swiftly to the fireplace and threw them in.

"NO!" shouted Blaine in strangled cry, trying to follow his father and dive for them. It was too late. They were burning before his eyes. His and Kurt's smiling faces, so in love, melted and bent. Kurt's words of love went up in smoke.

"You will get this notion out of your head," said his father fiercely. "I don't care what you and that whore Hummel did together - you will forget it all."

Blaine found himself running to his room. Closing the door and falling against the door. His head fell back, hitting the door and he couldn't see anything. Tears had obstructed his vision.

He sat there for an unknown amount of time. He was woken from his tears and sadness by the sound of the door and voices - the voices of the Fabrays.

Blaine opened the door and went to the top of the stairs, so he could hear by not be seen.

"Where is Blaine?" asked Quinn.

"Upstairs. He isn't feeling well, but he wanted us to still have dinner," said his mother in a polite tone. As if nothing ever happened.

"Poor thing," said Mrs. Fabray. "Quinn, you should go up and practice taking care of your husband. It's your duty as a wife to care for him when he's sick."

"That won't be necessary," said his mother. "He's just sleeping it off now."

They moved to the sitting room and out of Blaine's hearing. Blaine's blood boiled and he began to take the stairs two at a time. They were going to pretend to Quinn and her mother like the wedding was still going to happen in two months. How dare they. They would make Blaine give up himself, just so they could have status.

"And then we went to the market and - oh! Blaine! You're awake!" Mrs. Fabray looked surprised and Quinn perked up. His mother and father exchanged a nervous glance.

"Mrs. Fabray," said Blaine with a nod, walking into the room. "I am so sorry for the intrusion and for my rudeness, but this is something that has needed to be said from the first day we all met. The wedding is not going to happen."

Mrs. Fabray's eyes widened and Quinn's face fell, as suddenly as the happiness at his arrive came. His father turned red and his mother pale.

"Oh Quinn," sighed Blaine, walking over to her and sitting next to her. He covered her hand with his own. "I am so deeply sorry for the pain I will put you through with this. I never meant to…hurt you. But I can not continue to lie to you like this."

"But…why?" asked Quinn. Her beautiful features were already turning red, a sure sign of tears.

"It's simple, really, I'm in love with someone else," he said. "I love you, Quinn, but I could never be in love with you, and I certainly can't marry you."

"Blaine, stop this foolishness," hissed his father.

"We're so sorry - he doesn't mean a word of this," said his mother quickly. "He has it in his head that he - well…"

"Who is it?" asked Quinn, interrupting his mother. "Who are you choosing over me?"

Blaine took a deep breath. "Kurt Hummel."

The room was so suddenly so silent a pin could drop and make the noise of a crashing plate.

"What?" hissed Mrs. Fabray. "But - but -"

"Kurt?" asked Quinn, her face contorted in confusion. "But he's…he's…" Suddenly, a look of surprised understanding passed over her face. Blaine knew that she was remembering the conversation they had before, as to why he and Kurt seemed so….well, like they were the best of friends. And they were. They were also lovers.

"That means he's a -" Mrs. Fabray's face twisted in disgust.

"Yes, Mrs. Fabray, I prefer the company of men over woman," sighed Blaine. "It is a simple fact of who I am, and contrary to what my family might say, I can not change myself to be other wise."

"Blaine, stop this," said his mother.

"I can't," said Blaine. "If you can't accept that this is who I am, then…I'm sorry."

"I will give you a choice," said his father in a tight voice. "Forget about this foolishness and marry Quinn or -"

"The second option. Always the second option," said Blaine, standing.

His father just sat there, silent, for a long moment. Then -

"Get out."

"What?"

"Get out of my house. I will not have a son with this freakish behavior."

"I -"

"Out. You may pack two bags, but then I want you out and never back."

Blaine blinked at his father, then looked at his mother. Her head was down, not looking at Blaine.

Because no one ever said no to his father.

Blaine spared a look at Quinn, her face still heartbroken, before hurrying out of the room and up the stairs. He quickly threw is clothes and a few belongings he couldn't bare to part with into two bags. He brought them to the front door, slipped on his coat and hat, and left.

It was simple, really. No one came out to the front when they heard him come down the stairs and getting ready to leave. He supposed that "get out" was the only goodbye his father needed, and his mother…

Blaine shut the door behind him. He picked up his bags and quickly made his way toward the Hummel house.

------

When Blaine arrived on Kurt's doorstep, two bags in hands, he knew what had happened. It had been what Kurt had expected when he told his father and Carole about loving Blaine.

He had been kicked out of his house.

Carole immediately hugged Blaine close when Kurt brought him into the sitting room and he explained what happened - that his family found a photo of him and Kurt, along with letters - and then kicked him out when he refused to go through with his marriage to Quinn.

"I'm so sorry, dear," said Carole.

"You are welcomed here," said Burt. "Of course, we don't have a spare room…you'll have to make due with the sitting room."

"Don't be silly, father, he's staying with me," said Kurt, reaching over for one of Blaine's bags. He was about to walk Blaine up to his room when a noise of disapproval came from his father. "What?"

"I don't approve of you and Blaine sharing a bed," said Burt. "Before any sort of marriage? It's…it's…"

"Something we have been doing for over a year," remarked Kurt dryly. The look of surprise on Burt, Carole and Finn's faces was almost enough to make him laugh. Kurt really didn't know why he said that, however. He never wanted his family to know of his sex life….

"Kurt," said Carole, in a slightly scandalized tone.

"Kurt, this isn't proper…"

"Father, nothing about our relationship is "proper" by the rules of society," said Kurt matter-of-factly. "And while all of us in this room wish that one day, Blaine and I could wed, we all know that it won't actually happen. And so waiting for marriage for us was never really an option."

Kurt's face softened at the look on his father's face.

"Oh, father, just…I remembered what you told me," he said softly. "I know I matter. I waited for someone who would show me how much I matter everyday and with every touch. By all means, I consider Blaine and I to be married. It's just…what it is for us. I'm sorry if I betrayed your trust in any way."

"No, no," said Burt finally. He looked at Blaine, who was staring down at the floor with some embarrassment. "You're right, of course. The traditional way of waiting would never work for you two." He sighed. "It has been a long night for everyone. I think it's time for a rest."

"Thank you, sir," said Blaine, before following Kurt up stairs.

After Blaine and Kurt set his bags near Kurt's wardrobe and changed into bed clothes, they were exhausted. They didn't do anything but crawl into bed, holding each other close.

"Is it selfish of me to like that this happened?" said Kurt after they had been in the dark for a long time. "I like this. Falling asleep together, knowing that when I wake up in the morning neither one of us has to hurry out. That we get to do this again tomorrow? And the next day?"

"When you put it that way," said Blaine. "I'm happy it happened as well."

Blaine kissed Kurt on the top of his head gently, before they once again snuggled closely and fell into a calm sleep.

TBC